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good girl syndrome

good girl syndrome

MISS BLOSSIE – I just thought you were the kind of girl who would make better choices.

RACHEL – Kind of girl?  What kind of girl?

MISS BLOSSIE – A good girl who understands that God made sex to only be between . . .

RACHEL – A GOOD girl?

MISS BLOSSIE – I’m not comfortable with your tone.

RACHEL – And I’m not comfortable with your judgment. I suppose I do agree with your pastor, in principle.  It sounds like a really good idea.  But that’s all it is – a really good idea. (pause)  You’re not helping and neither is the Church.

MISS BLOSSIE – So you settle? (clears her throat) The scripture says to trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.  If you delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart.  Rachel, you have to trust that GOD has a divine plan for your life, one that you want deep down inside.

RACHEL – Sounds like an Easter speech.

MISS BLOSSIE – What?

RACHEL – Nothing.

And so the conversation goes between Miss Blossie, a church and community icon, and her play niece, Rachel – after Miss Blossie discovers Rachel consuming her unmarried lover in Miss Blossie’s kitchen.

Janelle Harris’ Washington Post article, “Pastors tell black women to be passive and wait for love. I don’t believe in that.”, reminds me of the “good girl syndrome,” explored in several convesations in my play, no ordinary sunday, like the one above between Miss Blossie and Rachel. Being passive and waiting for love is based on the outdated interpretation of Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV), “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.” Now, no doubt if one finds a loving life partner, that is a beautiful blessing. The problem is when this scripture is interpreted to be a mandate for the only way a couple can come together in love and commitment.

Pastors and other faith leaders completely disservice women when they insist on a biblical foundation for gender-based subservience. Have they not understood, overlooked or denied that the bible also describes a loving life commitment that results from a woman’s advances? Naomi schools Ruth in the fine art of oral seduction that so impresses Boaz, that he is compelled to make Ruth his wife.

Ladies, when you plead with God for your Boaz, do you know what you’re actually asking for? (Ruth 3)

(c) 2016, candi dugas, llc

Featured image: pinterest.com – abstract goodluck art greeting card

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